"It's such a cold, cold world (Hello cold world). And I can't get out. So I'll just make the best, of everything I'll never have. Such a cold, cold world (Hello cold world). And it's got me down. But I'll get right back up, as long as it spins around. Hello cold world. " - Hello Cold World, Paramore.

I'm just tired, of biased parents, of fake and judgemental people, of problems, of the world, of my siblings, of everything, of life. I've put up with all that shit and crap for so long, I'm just too tired to fight back now. It seems like whatever I do, I just can't please them. I know I can't please everyone, but still? I can't even please my parents! I'm just not good enough. Is that it? I'm tired, I swear. I try my hardest to just do my best in everything I do, to make them proud. Well, they're not. Of me, at least. Just because I'm the only girl, do they have to pick on me? I'm trying, trying really hard here, for your information. I studied with all my heart and mind and soul put into my examinations and my everyday work and emerged Top Ten in my class and Top Eighteen in my whole cohord. Isn't that enough? I know it's not the best but it's my effort. I TRIED MY BEST. And then my younger brother's result came in. He's better than me of course, HE'S YOUNGER FOR GOD's SAKE!! He's learning easier stuff, and he got first in class, maths and english in the whole cohord. And whole cohord in his school is just one class. ONE FREAKING CLASS. (He goes to a new school.) Of course it's easy! What do you expect? And you keep praising him, praising him, rewarding him, buying gifts for him. And you promised me a nice meal, where is it? I don't see it. You keep buying him gifts, so where's mine? Hello, I exist too, you know. I'm not saying that I want gifts, but at least show that you care! And you say that I keep wasting your money. WHO IS THE ONE WHO DRINKS EVERY SINGLE FVCKING DAY AND WHO IS THE FVCKING PERSON THAT KEEPS BUYING MY BROTHER EXPENSIVE GIFTS? HUH?! And when I brought him out the other day, do you even know that who spent the money in like just 5 minutes? FIVE FRICKEN MINUTES, IT's HIM!! NOT ME. It's always Brenda did this, Brenda did that. Brenda spent this, Brenda keeps wasting money. And C is so smart, C got a prize. C achieved this, C achieved that. So I'm the bad kid with my older bro A and he's the good kid? I'M TIRED OF HEARING THAT SAME SHIT EVERY FVCKING DAY. IT'S ANNOYING, TOO MUCH FOR A FREAKING TYPICAL THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD TO TAKE! So stop it, the tears, the pain, the hurt, stop it all. No one's gonna be there to wipe my tears, anyway.

Please. Just stop throwing shit at me, cold world. Please. I'm tired, really, I am.
P/S; I feel better after listening to Paramore, Hello Cold World in particular. Paramore changes lives. :) I can't take any more shit.

Wipe your tears. You're better than that, sweetie. :')

Labels: Hello Cold World, Paramore, Tired

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